Shy, Single and Pressured… What to do when you're Shy, Single and Pressured.

Dear Michael D. Gatson,

We are approaching Valentines and I am still single. My family and friends are pressuring me about getting married and starting a family. I haven’t had the best of luck with relationships in the past and as a result I have a pattern of discounting others when they give me compliments. I have several people asking me out on dates but I am a little scared. What advice do you have for someone who desires to be loved by someone special?

It’s important that you do not look for love and learn to be patient. Patience is a virtue! Let love find you by immersing yourself into activities that bring you happiness. When you are participating in something that makes you happy you will become more approachable. If you’re out doing your thing,(odds are) you’ll find someone to love who will have plenty of things in common with you. Whether you’re single or not, making friends is important. If you are single, sometimes building your social circle means expanding the opportunity to meet new people.

Advice:

• Always be loyal.
• Always be honest.
• Be prayerful.
• Know your value. When you learn how much you are worth, you will stop giving people discounts. Your time is valuable. Be careful who you invest your time.
• Be humble.
• Be grateful.
• Free yourself from negative people.
• Pay attention to your relationship with yourself. No matter what your hang-ups and insecurities are, getting over them should be priority over finding a partner. Work on yourself; don’t look for someone to fix all of your problems. I find that when we really love and accept and approve of ourselves exactly as we are, then everything in life works.
• Stay in touch with the people who matter in your life.
• Remain positive about yourself, instead of engaging in negative “self-talk”.
• Regret nothing, not even your failures. Take in the richness of only today because to carry any more will only weigh you down.
• Do not look backwards.
• Treat people how you want to be treated.
• It’s important to listen.
• Keep your promises.
• Learn to give without expecting.
• Never assume.
• Leave petty arguments alone.
• Say what you mean and mean what you say.
• Forgive people and do not hold grudges.
• Learn to accept people just as they are and do not try and change them.
• Don’t expect too much too soon from someone you’re dating.
• Give new relationships proper time to develop and don’t rush it.

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