Each year our birthday comes around & we began reminiscing about the past, the ups & down, and relationships that ended and began. This year has been about change, growth, heartbreak, closing and starting new chapters, and discovering what I truly deserve but not knowing and being fearful of what the future holds.
I will admit, it can be scary when you come face to face with our reality that we are in a place we don’t want to be in anymore. That can be a feeling or a situation. Don’t fear them though, because it is a good space to be in. It means that we are about to make some changes.
Often the next step in our growth is letting go so we can continue to evolve and expand. Friends and family are included in this. The year has been a transition, but I am thankful for the growth in my career and personal life. Sometimes, you are the one who has to leave situations, feelings, and people behind.
When it comes to friends, family, and significant others, sometimes we need to allow them to work on themselves because they won’t do it while you are providing everything for them in their life.
It is a weird place praying for someone to change, reach their full potential, and grow up, but year after year there’s no change. Maybe it is because they don’t want to make any changes or they are not ready to admit they are not good at some things. Maybe us leaving is exactly what is needed for them to be in the space TO grow.
When we consistently stay and neglect our happiness, we are enabling their behaviors. They will tell you “I will see a therapist” and than start missing or canceling appointments. The excuses start to become more frequent and there’s just no movement from them.
We can’t change people. They have to want to make some change. They have to demonstrate that they are taking the actions to change. Their actions need to indicate a change. Words do not have value if they are not supported behind actions.
Trust me, if people want something or someone bad enough they will make the necessary changes.
I know so many individuals who think they are in love with people or dating them based purely on their potential and not who they are currently being. They see endless possibilities in the person, and yet, that person has never shown a glimpse or desire to change and grow in that direction.
You cannot motivate, and convince anyone to become anything that they are not moving towards. They can talk all about it, but our choices reflect our priorities, so look at what they’re choosing.
Just make sure that you are not asking them to be someone else to be with you, because that type of request has a short shelf life and eventually the real person will show their face. Some people spend their entire life mirroring each other’s fakeness and it becomes very exhausting over time. If we let people sit in the gap of ambivalence, we give our amazingness away to people who will never know our value.
It can be tough to become AWARE when we are in a relationship. We can never limit our growth for someone else. We can invite our family, friends, and significant others to join us on our journey of growth, but it is impossible to sustain a dead space for another in the long term. It will lead to resentment and pain, and we began to shrink ourselves to meet them rather than inviting them to grow with us.
As I continue on my journey to empower and encourage others, I am learning the true meaning of the favor of God. The more you give and strive to help others improve their life, the more your life improves. My life has been enriched with a new love, endless opportunities, adventures, and experiences. Today I am celebrating another year of life and starting a new chapter in my personal memoir but excited about what God has in store for me on my journey and the feeling of accomplishment.
Thank you for all the birthday cards, wishes, gifts, calls, text, emails, and social media post.