let’s Talk about Love
There are questions you should ask before you get into a relationship. But first, let’s talk about love. I have several friends who desire to be in a relationship or are currently with someone, but their needs are not being met. I told one of my friends recently that she needed to be direct with her significant other about her needs.
People often think that being direct and asking what someone needs from a relationship with us is too direct and it will scare them away. How we love and what we need will be an invitation to the right person who is willing to meet our needs. If someone doesn’t want what we want, that’s valuable information.
How do we find great partners?
Listen, if we want to find great partners and excellent relationships we need to find someone who wants similar things. When people can’t show up for us in emotional conversations and are not willing to try, we get to see that they are not the one for us.
We need to live from a place that recognizes that the right people will be able to hear us and they will be able to make the space that we need to feel safe and secure.
But first, we must trust that people can. We must believe that they are capable. We must believe that people can meet us where we need them to be. When we are talking about our needs, this doesn’t mean that we should rely on someone else for our personal happiness and self-worth. Only you can be responsible for that. If you can’t love and respect yourself – no one else will be able to make that happen.
Accept who you are completely, the good and the bad, and make changes as YOU see fit. Not because you think someone else wants you to be different. You don’t have to change so people will like you, be yourself and the right people will love the real you.
You have the ability to create the unique relationship your heart desires. If you’re hiding parts of yourself you can’t ask for honesty and assertive communication. If you become everything that you want then you will also have to let go of the belief that someone out there like that doesn’t exist…..because you are existing.
Questions you should ask before you get into a relationship:
- Why are you in a relationship?
- Why do you want one?
- What is the role relationships serve in your life?
When we can answer these questions we will realize we are capable of selecting people who share the same passion. And if we are in a relationship we can better align once we answer these. That way we can have a common relationship purpose. Because until you answer these questions love will truly be blind.