Month: January 2014

Daily Inspiration

One of the things I learned the hard way was that it doesn’t pay to get discouraged. Keeping busy and making optimism a way of life can restore your faith in yourself. Michael D. Gatson

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Daily Inspiration

“When you forgive, you in no way change the past – but you sure do change the future.” Bernard Meltzer
Unability to forgive causes problems. It not only causes us to be unhappy, but can strain or ruin relationships, distract us from work and family and other important things, make us reluctant to open up to new things and people.We get trapped in a cycle of anger and hurt, and miss out on the beauty of life as it happens.  We need to learn to let go. We need to be able to forgive, so we can move on and be happy.

Have a blessed day!

Michael D. Gatson

Love & Finances

Wouldn’t it be wonderful if money really did grow on trees? Money is a common source of friction in relationships, particularly in today’s difficult financial times. When left untreated, money problems may damage the trust and understanding necessary to maintain a healthy relationship. In some cases, financial disagreements may even lead to separation or divorce. Some examples of money matters that can cause a couple to fight:

  1. When there is a financial crisis and you are not sure which bills are priorities over the other bills.
  2. Some couples argue over how money should be spent. Do you want to save for a house? Are you in a relationship with someone who is content with renting forever?
  3. One of the individuals in the relationship continues to spend money without thinking about it and the other person wants to save for a rainy day. Are you a spender or a saver? If you’re in a relationship with a person whose money style is your opposite, you will continue to have problems in the future.
  4. One of the individuals in the relationship is not truthful about their finances. Does one partner make more money? Substantially more? Oftentimes, when one partner earns substantially more money, that partner feels entitled to control the money. And the other partner often feels undeserving of control, or less worthy due to lower income.

My advice to solve your relationship problems is this:

Communication: First, you must both agree to talk over all money issues in a positive way.  Be willing to listen and keep an open mind. There’s no place for judgment, name-calling, and anger. At times, our emotions about other issues manifest around money. Our financial behaviors are so deeply ingrained, they can be hard to explain, much less change, but you have to try if you want your relationship to work.

Plan: How are you going to manage your finances and your relationship going forward? Create a plan so that you both agree how often you will handle money in the future. Make a plan and then follow through.

Action: If necessary, set up separate bank accounts so that you each can handle money your own way. Many couples set up a joint account to which each contributes, along with accounts that each person funds and controls separately. Some couples dispense with the joint account and make arrangements to split expenses. If one of you is a saver and the other a spender, find the mid-point where you’re both happy. Do whatever works for you. If you are still struggling, then get some help from a financial planner.

Prior to marriage, many of us had to answer only to ourselves. A major shift occurs as we began our married life—we are now accountable to each other. You can decide to defuse the drama and make money just another thing you share with your partner. Money can secure happiness, but it can’t create it.

How do you work through financial problems with your significant other? Share your comments below!

WELCOME.

Life is a journey. And on that journey, we will run into challenges along the way. When this happens, we all can use the insight and support of a caring person. Here, you’ll find inspiration to help you reclaim your life. I utilize my training in psychology and social work to assist individuals with functioning at an optimal level as they transcend their challenging situations.

-Michael D. Gatson