When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves.
Last night I received some text messages from someone that taught me a valuable lesson through some pain. Afterwards, I turned my cellphone off and continued to research articles while listening to music. Lauryn Hill Ex-Factor came on my playlist as I listened to the lyrics they made me think about a lot of things. “It could all be so simple, but you’d rather make it hard. Loving you is like a battle, and we both end up with scars. Tell me who I have to be to get some reciprocity. No one loves you more than me and no one ever will.” I am always explaining to people all the time the mind is always thinking about something. I started thinking about the text and the apology. As I started to think about the experience, I was trying to figure out the lesson because I played a part in the situation as well. I am a firm believer that either you are a blessing or a lesson. The lesson I discovered that you can’t move forward with your life, until you take some time to heal. Sometimes we find ourselves jumping out of the frying pan into the skillet.
Thinking about life, love, and my current journey I began thinking about my Land Navigation exam at Basic Officer Leader Course at Ft. Sam. One of the things I learned about being on a journey it’s important to take detours along the way on your journey. Travel the back roads, take your time. Talk to people and smell the flowers along the way. Sometimes we need to take the side trips. Do not be afraid of the experiences, emotions, situations, that take us off center and somewhere new. Sometimes that’s where our greatest learning and growth occur.
If a side trip is beckoning, perhaps there’s a lesson there: an old feeling to be felt, healed, and cleared; a new attitude or belief to be acquired; a revelation, a surprise. Remember this: a side trip, with all its emotions, isn’t about another person. It’s about you and your journey to healing, freedom, and joy. Stop playing the victim, and become a survivor on your personal journey. The moment you walk 100% in your truth is the moment when you take back the power that anyone could ever have to make you feel ashamed! Ignoring feelings or a situation that can take you off center won’t take you to the next place. Going more deeply into your growth process, going more deeply into your soul is what will further your journey.
Everything that happens to you can be used, felt, shaped, and transformed to further our journey. The process of growth, of side trips and healing, is your destiny, the magical journey of your soul.
On yesterday, I took some time to relax all day. It was nice to wear my pajamas and read articles all day long from my sofa. Some of us don’t know how tired we are until we try to relax. Then we realize we’re exhausted.
We may have lived with exhaustion and stress so long it’s become habitual. That doesn’t mean we’re bad or wrong, or even off track. Many of us are deeply involved in activities, work, projects, and relationships we enjoy. We like our lives and the things we’re doing. But sometimes we’ve pushed too hard or too long. Sometimes we haven’t given our bodies’ adequate time to relax, to rest, to really let go.
It’s all right to take time out. Relax. Refresh. Regroup. It’s alright to rest even if we’re busy, rest often enough to keep ourselves replenished. Get in touch with your body, and then stay in touch with yourself.
Find out how tired you are. Then let your body tell you what it needs to come back to live and love.
It is important not to tell people how you think you should have handled things. That’s shame. It teaches others to feel ashamed, too. Don’t tell people how you wish you had handled things. That’s needless regret that we pass on to others.
Share honestly and openly about yourself, the way you felt, the things you thought. Share how going through your experience changed you. Talk about resistance, your pain, the imperfect way you did things, the way you handle things now.
Sharing honestly and openly teaches people around us the most helpful truth ___that the imperfect way we live our lives is right for us at the time. When we love and accept ourselves enough to honestly share who we are, it helps those we touch to believe that they’re good enough too.
You are essentially who you create yourself to be and all that occurs in your life is the result of your own making
When you stop chasing the wrong things you give the right things a chance to catch you. #unbothered
When I started this journey several years ago to become a therapist, I knew my purpose was to be of service to someone in need. There are a lot of days I am exhausted from helping people all day, and I don’t have anything left to give anyone else. Occasionally I will receive messages about my blog or people thinking that my life is perfect. My life isn’t perfect at all, but I do believe in planting seeds of service, and that you will reap a tremendous harvest. I do not expect my rewards or harvest to come from man; instead I wait on God’s blessings. Yes, there are moments I get frustrated, and I will stop writing or encouraging others for a brief moment. When the negative comments become overwhelming, I began to remember the positive messages and emails l that I have received explaining that the message was for me, and you have blessed me tremendously. Then I remember that a gentle service comes from the heart. That’s the theme, the rhythm of life, work, and love. When I sit down to write, it is very therapeutic for me. I can reflect on where I’ve been, and the direction I am headed. It allows me to take a break from therapy, research articles, writing scholastically, and take some time to reflect about a conversation, therapy session, or something from my personal life.
Therapist Corner: Commit to your growth, to loving yourself and following your heart. Commit to joy, passion, and gratitude for your life and all your lessons. Commit to honestly sharing and expressing who you are, what you feel, what you are going through. Sometimes you will never know the value of sharing your experiences may have on someone’s life. Learn to treasure all your experiences.
Don’t worry about what you will do to serve. Focus instead on loving yourself. Let your service come from that, acts that spring from desire, joy, and inspiration. Cherish your life. It’s a gift not just to yourself, but to others. Your part is to serve others by being yourself.
Service is your path. Let service spring gently, naturally, from who you are. Radiate your gifts to the world by loving and sharing yourself.
Last night I had an emotional conversation with a friend about a lot of things. I can honestly admit that l slept well after we talked. It was nice to talk to someone and not have someone judging or forming opinions, and to feel every emotion. This morning, I realize that times of change are holy. We may not know where we’re going. It may not feel like our feet are on solid ground at times. They aren’t all the time. We’re crossing a bridge to another part of our lives. Sometimes we find ourselves at this bridge unwittingly, not certain how we got there, not certain we want to cross. Other times, we may have sought, prayed for, hoped for, and longed for this time of change. It is important that we take a journey across the bridge. You don’t have to understand it all right now. Information and understanding will come later. You’ll get to the other side. For now, trust and experience what you’re going through. Know that this time of change is sacred, too.
“In three words I can sum up everything I’ve learned about life: it goes on.” ~Robert Frost
This past weekend was very emotional for me visiting my friend. I recall holding it together during our visit, and getting in my car afterwards crying a lot on the way back. After our visits, I noticed that I was crying after our visits because it made me sad to hear that his friends haven’t been to see him. I needed to pull myself together and do something to cheer myself up while I was in Detroit. My friend offered me tickets to attend Cedar Point on Sunday. I haven’t been to the park since my birthday last year. This park holds a lot of memories from my young adulthood. On Sunday, I decided to attend so I could cheer myself up and think about my relationship with Chris. I met Chris at this park 13 years ago in the summer of 2001 at the bus stop. Since that day we remained in contact after I returned to Northwestern, and he went back to Jackson State University. I’ve never attended an amusement park during the winter season. Driving to the park and riding the rollercoasters, I had time to think about a lot of things. I am not one to question God, or to have regrets in life. As I am getting older I am realizing sometimes things happen. Things we didn’t expect. Things we didn’t plan on. An event occurs that change our life dramatically. The event may be good or bad, desirable, or undesirable, fortunate, or unfortunate. No matter how we describe it, its impact is the same. We step off our usual path and go for a roller coaster ride. You may have begun a time of deep transformation, a journey chosen by your soul. Feel all you need to feel. Allow your thoughts to flow. Let your body shift as go through the curves of lives. Let yourself be transformed. Enjoy the ride, the entire experience, with all its twists and curves. Scream in fear if you need that. Cry out in joy. If you need to laugh, that is fine as well. If you find yourself on a roller coaster, turn it into the ride of your life. We take so many things for granted in our lives. As I boarded my flight, I realized that things we take for granted, someone else is praying for. Life is precious. Don’t take it for granted. I have a million things going, but I try to make time to show people how I feel versus telling them. Real friends can show you more than you can see. If I consider you a friend or family then you will not ever guess about my feelings for you. Have a blessed weekend!