On yesterday, it was full of obstacles but I made it to my destination and accomplished the initial goal. I used to pray for opportunities to travel and get paid for something I love doing. I like being around genuine people and finding new ways to love the same person over and over. It is important to expose ourselves to different parts of the world and to new experience and cultures so that we can change out our lenses. It’s important to surround ourselves with people who help us grow and bring out the best versions of ourselves. In this life we can’t take anything for granted. Vision is the art of seeing what is invisible to others. Even when the odds are against you. Fight for your dreams. Even if you have to invest a lot of time, and your income. Do whatever is necessary to achieve your goals. On your personal journey, you will face many obstacles along the way. Your family and friends may turn against you in the process. Those you love will think you are crazy but don’t give up on your dreams.As we are approaching Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Years, and Valentines. It seems appropriate to think about what and who are we committing to in the new year. Are the people in my life helping me become a better person? Are they helping me grow to my full potential?
Dr. G’s advice:
Yesterday, I was on the plane, and I met this guy named, Micah. We talked on the plane from DC to ATL. During our conversation, I found out that he was an Engineer originally from Memphis. He has lived in New York, Washington DC, and now residing in Clinton, MS. He also expressed that he has been trying to get his family to leave their hometown and branch out to new cities, cultures, and meet new people. We also talked about some of our similarities and how we love to travel and respond to new people.
I remember when I turned 18 I felt like I was an adult. One day I told my grandmother that I was grown. She looked at me and asked me, “what happens to a rose when it is fully bloomed?” I replied that it opens up beautifully and it eventually dies. She reminded me that we are a lot like a rose and when we are fully bloomed then it is time for us to die. Until that time comes we are constantly growing and in transition to the next phase of our lives. If we are not growing, we are dying. It is important as humans that we are always in the form of construction. I want you to start stepping outside of your comfort zone and take a chance in getting to know someone new. Start new conversations you normally would not. Having the conversations, we’ve never had so that we can build a relationship we’ve never experienced before.
A few weeks ago I was talking with one of my good friends, and colleagues about traveling beyond her regular destinations to meet someone with a different mindset and ready for a serious committed relationship. Traveling doesn’t necessarily mean going overseas. Maybe traveling means venturing off to the west coast, or the east coast, and exploring new activities, and adventures while you are on vacation. In the days to come, and new year I challenge you to challenge yourself to explore new adventures, destinations and become curious to the unknown. To not just react to what is being presented, but rather to try to understand a person’s story, and their logic about things before judging them.
I want you to focus on the many different aspects of wellness and look at areas that you have room to grow. As a professor, and therapist I hear all the time from individuals about their frustration with their family, friends, or partners about them telling them to pursue their dreams or passion. Examine the different parts that make up you as an individual. Let’s connect to the parts that bring us joy.
1. Who are the people in your circle?
2. Do you have quality people in your circle?
3. Do they bring out the positive attributes within you?
4. Do they challenge you for greatness?
5. Do they lift you up?
6. Do they bring out the better side of you?
Shift your group around so you are aligned. We should be inviting people in our circle to enhance and advance us as an individual.
As a marriage counselor, I am always challenging my couples to be active and present in their relationship. That means their relationship is a job and they are making sure to devote time and emotions into it.
Ask yourself on a monthly basis how can I show my love for my partner.
Am I working on being a supportive partner?
Am working hard as an individual to inspire and motivate my partner?
How are my communication skills in my partner?
Remember we were created to share our gifts and talents. Also, you have been set up to make somebody else’s life better. Somebody needs what you have- your smile, touch, love, support, and encouragement. Committing to loving our partners over and over again and finding new ways to support, cheer, and stand by their side.
The biggest lesson that I have learned this year is being mindful of how much I give of myself. There are givers and takers in every relationship. The best friends and partners understand the importance of balancing the two. To be able to fill someone else’s cup when yours is overflowing is a beautiful thing. If you never set boundaries with family, friends, and your partner or find someone that recognizes when you need to receive you will just end of empty and shattered.
Happy holiday’s from Dr. Gatson & family