As a therapist, I hear a variety of things from all kinds of individuals. My friends and family consult me about everything. This year I have heard several times that people are ready for this year to end. Recently, someone told me they regret a lot of the decisions they made.
Personally, 2016 started out a little rocky, but after MLK weekend I evaluated a few things and decided I did not want to deal with some of the things I have entertained in the past. I didn’t want to feel like that anymore, so I made some personal changes.
For the first time in a long time I woke up to the choices and patterns that have led me down a road of destruction. At that moment I realized that I should have ended some things a long time ago. I had a choice to feel guilty, or live with regrets, or find some compassion for the choices I made.
The pain and rejection were the information that I needed to evolve into the next chapter of my life. The thing about lessons is that once you learn them you don’t have to revisit them again. Everything happens for a reason. Don’t stress the could haves.
I remember having a conversation with my coworker/friend, and she was explaining to me that 2016 was her year of “Yes.” I encouraged her to step out in faith, trust the process, and explore opportunities. During that conversation, I told my coworker that this would be my year of “NO.”
2016 was a year of me learning that to whom much is given…….saying “NO” may be required. I made a decision to focus on building myself, and if it wasn’t about advancing or elevating me personally or professionally then, the answer was “NO.” I was only interested in building myself emotionally, spiritually, financially, and mentally.
The remainder of 2016 has been an excellent chapter on my journey on this thing we call life. I was able to regain my focus and close out one of the most challenging hurdles in my life since boot camp. I am counting down the days to graduation. I don’t have regrets about sacrificing and taking breaks from school to help someone. I can learn from the mistakes, and keep it moving.
Career wise I have been blessed with several opportunities to work with PESI as a consultant and travel to new cities, meeting new people. Another opportunity I was blessed to receive was a call from someone who attended one of my workshops and extended the offer for me to teach at The Catholic University of America in the Master of Social Work Program. Receiving the request to teach has been a blessing. It reminded me how much I love and have missed teaching the knowledge I have learned over the years with my future colleagues.
My real estate business has been doing very well, and I was able to assist with several refinance opportunities. Last but not least, I met someone that I wasn’t expecting to meet, but now I can’t imagine my life without them. As I am closing out 2016, I still have a few strained relationships that I am not 100% happy about, but it takes two people to make a relationship work. I am still praying about each of those situations, but I refuse to stress over spilled milk.
Therapist Advice: You can’t expect for things to be perfect every day. You will make mistakes when it comes to love, life, career, and personal relationships. There will be moments when you will be the best and worst version of yourself. Take accountability, and commit yourself to living at your highest level of knowledge.
You will have moments on your personal journey where you will struggle, but remember you are human. Life is about making the mistakes, but learning how to become a better person. Be gentle with yourself, and remain committed to growing and learning from the mistakes of 2016 so you can continue to offer compassion for all of the new lessons that will come your way.
Life is what you make of it and if you choose to find the silver lining in situations, your struggles suddenly become your triumphs. We are in December make the last chapter of 2016 a great one.