Month: June 2017

Cyber bullying!!! & Time Management 

After watching my sister’s video, please like and share the video because it has an excellent message and it made me think about something personal things with myself. After watching the video and all of the post on social media yesterday, I thought everyone’s a critic, except the people who do stuff or when it’s their mom, sister, aunt, friend, or brother. After watching the video, I started thinking about myself. It is exquisite that individuals take the time to think about how something resonates within us. It is easier to point the blame towards someone else. Yes, we are all guilty of gossiping, bullying, or expressing our personal opinion or problems at some point, but when you learn better, you do better. I have a lot of personal opinions about various things, but when you are a licensed provider, an officer in the United States Military, and work as a Federal employee, you understand about respect and expressing your personal opinions on social media.

I have noticed that I have limited my time on Facebook because it has started to remind me of Twitter. I stopped going on Twitter because I saw that it was becoming to be real messy, and everyone was throwing shade at someone. Facebook was a place where I was able to keep in touch with my family, and friends because I live a great distance from everyone and do not get home often as I would like. Now, when I log onto social media (Facebook), I have noticed that it has become real messy, and people are throwing shade. Other things I have seen it that Facebook have become more about impressing others, and people believe that you are doing great things in your professional and personal life.

It is important to realize time is of the essence but it doesn’t wait for anyone, but it’s priceless. Once you’ve lost it, you can never regain it. Imagine for a moment that you’re sitting alone on your bed, your Physician explained that you have about two months left to live and you ask yourself “How did I live my life?”, “Do I have any regrets?”, “Did I accomplish all of my goals?”, “Did I find love?”, “Did I accomplish all of my goals?”. It’s impossible to answer those questions without reflecting on how you spent your time on a daily basis. The biggest regret that people have on their deathbed is that they lived the life expected of them instead of a life true to themselves.

When you become cognizant of how you spend your time and things you value the most. You become aware of the choices you make, and you spend your time differently. You will notice your life evolving and moving to the next chapter. I have a schedule that I try to make sure I balance things. Every day I have my time where I devote to seeing patients at my full time, dealing with army medical reserve (i.e. completing evaluations for soldiers). Making time for my personal, professional goals (working on opening my agency in August), (researching grants), (working on research proposals) and devoting some time to my relationship because I desire to have a partner to go through the good and bad on this journey we call life.

Therapist Corner:

I am currently documenting what I spend my time on with journaling or writing down things on my calendar. Doing this straightforward task will significantly increase your awareness of how you spend your time. Getting into the habit of having a weekly and monthly reflection will greatly help you spend your time on the right things. Start doing it and you’ll never regret it. I want you to start becoming aware of how you spend your time, and what consumes your time. Having this knowledge will assist you in making better choices, regardless of who you are and whatever your goals are. The way you spend your time is the way you spend your life. How are you spending your time?

Spending your time on things you value, there are six things you must know:
• How do I currently spend my time?

• What are my goals?

• What skills and other resources do I need to achieve my goals?

• What are the specific activities that I need to make an action plan?

• How am I currently spending my time on a daily basis?

• What are the most valuable things I want to spend my time on today? “Valuable” in this context is defined by your life-direction.

Advertisements

Smiling through all four seasons 

I have been gone for a minute now I’m back at the jump off (Jump off)….I have been focusing on a few projects. On a regular basis, I attempt to practice what I preach on a daily basis because I do not want to seem hypocritical, or not trying to live a healthy life. One of the things I have struggled with in past relationships with family, friends, and intimate partners is dimming my light and trying to motivate, inspire, encourage, and help with the planning of their career, relationships, or self-worth. I am guilty of compromising my essence in my relationship, and I can realize that I was betraying myself. In my relationship, I found myself not discussing some of my accomplishments or achievements because I was focused on making sure my partner was successful in all endeavors. After years of learning, I have realized that when you compromise self, a part of you dies in the process. It is a feeling of unhappiness that takes place because you start to become unfulfilled. As a therapist or a helper, I think people forget that sometimes the person who attempts to help everyone needs some assistance with things on this journey we call life.

If you are reading this and thinking is the therapist trying to tell me that I am in a relationship or friends with someone, who does not love me? Keep this in mind even if the person likes or loves you, but you are continuing to put their needs, and wants ahead of yours then you are not free, and it will not be fulfilling in the long run. Personally, I had to take a step back and realize that I was compromising Michael and my God given talents to help individuals with their desires, wishes, goals, and dreams. As a result in the past, I took several quarters to sit out of school because I needed to focus on my relationship or their goals. I decided not to accept several opportunities because I thought it wasn’t the best thing at that time. Some situations I had to take time away from school or my personal goals because financially I had to concentrate on other things for others.

Real freedom is to love and accept you, talents, skills, and personality. The freedom to love self and being able to accept yourself even if there are moments you find it difficult to love and accept yourself. As you learn to love and accept even your non-acceptance, a profound peace will begin to resonate within you. As you start to like who you are, you will start to acknowledge and nourish the light within you. The light inside you then grows stronger, and in these moments you realize the potential you have.

I have learned that there is nothing humble about playing small in personal or professional relationships . When you know who you are, you are aware that what is magnificent and shines is not “you” in the egoist sense, but the essence of your being. This essence is the same essence inside us all. My mother would recite to me all the time Deuteronomy 28:13 13-The LORD will make you the head, not the tail. If you pay attention to the commands of the LORD your God that I give you this day and carefully follow them, you will always be at the top, never at the bottom. Yes, placing yourself in the world to try various opportunities, and share your gifts can be a vulnerable and a scary thing. You will have thoughts “Will I be great,” Will I be successful,” or “Will they embrace who I am.” I have had all of those thoughts and much more but I did not allow those thoughts to stop me from applying to present at local, regional, national, or international conferences to be a presenter.  It is easier just to play it small and hide behind things because when we are visible, we subject ourselves to criticism and scrutiny. So many of us hide behind our comfort zones and play it safe. Instead of sending the DM and see where things will go with someone you find to be attractive. Don’t be afraid to approach someone because they are attractive because you have a lot to offer someone as well. Do not hesitate to send the DM because you are comfortable with going home to an empty home. We have to allow our magnitude of our visions to be bigger than our fears.

On this journey I am noticing as I step into my greatness and share my God-given talents with the world, people will have all sorts of opinions about you. People will try to come with things to destroy your happiness. Everyone is entitled to their views is something I am learning and not take everything personally. It is their opinion and how they perceive me tends to reveal more about them than about me because they do not know me from a can of paint. Again, playing small or diminishing your light doesn’t serve anyone any purpose. In fact, when you let your light shine, it inspires, encourages, and motivates those around you of the very same light that they possess inside of them. Each person has an individual light within them. It is not the same light as mine because what God has for is for me. I have noticed my friends, and family becomes inspired to live out their dreams or step out on faith and open their own business, purchase their first rental property, or start dating someone. Even in your personal, intimate relationships they will become inspired by your example and use your model to step up their own game. There will be some people who will be jealous as it’s a reminder of where they aren’t living out their potential greatness. This has the potential to be very frustrating when dealing with friends, family, and lovers but remember you are only showing them their possible potential and they may never reach that level of potential that you see in them. It’s not selfish to let your light shine. In fact, it’s selfish NOT to let your light shine. The world misses out on so many fantastic gifts when you hold back sharing your gifts. There is no perfect time to start allowing yourself to be great. It’s time to stop hiding and shine your light and investing in yourself. If you wait until you are ready, you will be waiting the rest of your life. Sometimes in life, you need to put yourself. First, you need to think about what’s best for you and pursue it. 
Money don’t make me happy (Make me happy)
And a fella can’t make me fancy (Make me fancy)
We smiling’ for a whole nother reason (Whole nother reason)
It’s all smiling through all four seasons